Monday 29 December 2014

Love and separation

Love and the pain of separation are closely related. Whoever enters the realm of love has to bear the pain of separation. Absolute affection is love. There is a deep desire to be with the beloved forever.
Until this objective is met, the spiritual aspirant undergoes the throes of separation. To be with the beloved is union and beloved's absence is separation or viraha.

The paths of practice of self-control and detachment have been propounded in Patanjali Yogsutra, Sankhya sutra, Srimad Bhagvat purana and other such works. This detachment and self-control gets established in the state of separation by itself without any effort on the aspirant's part, because the world loses its attraction for a lover. Her only desire is to be with the beloved. With the dawn of love the feeling of separation intensifies, and with this one's ego or mine-ness vanishes. With the banishment of ego one's heart becomes pure and one surrenders oneself to the Lord or Beloved.  Now one only wants to make the beloved happy. One enjoys giving and only knows giving the beloved everything that makes the beloved happy. One never wants to take anything as she has lost all desires except the desire to be one with God. When she has totally given herself to her beloved, the beloved has no choice but to reciprocate. In this way the two merge and become one because until they are One there is restlessness. Only this union can do away with the pain of separation. 
It is said: 
जब मै था तब हरि नहीं, अब हरि है मै नाहिं । 
प्रेम गली अति साँकरी, ता मे दो न समाहिं ।।
When I existed Lord did not, now Lord exists and I do not. 
The path of love is so narrow that there cannot be an 'other'. Love dissolves egos.
 
In his Bhaktisutra, rishi Narad states that experiencing this pain of separation is also a kind of Bhakti.  
Agonizing pain of separation can be felt by anyone. One does not have to learn it. Whoever loves deeply, dies to catch a glimpse of the beloved, cries incessantly and is ready to give up her life for the beloved is indeed worthy recipient of this Divine pain of separation or viraha.
 
There is a strange contentment in separation which is not found in union because in Union there is a fear of facing separation again which does not let one feel at rest. Separation is considered superior also due to the fact that in union only the beloved is visible, whereas in separation, the whole world stops and seems to be waiting for the beloved.
 
प्रेमपाश जो बँध गये, फिर नहीं टूटत तार ।
तड़पत सिसकत है तऊँ, सुमिरत बारंबार ।।
 
Meaning: those who have fallen in love will never fall out of it, for they cry and pine and are lost in remembrance of their loved one. 
Although in separation the two appear far apart, but in fact they are connected as one due to their love for each other. This bond of love is irrevocable because their hearts are united in love and are pining away.
 
The pain of separation only dawns in a true lover. You can also say that it appears only by God's grace. This becomes clear in these lines:
 
जिस पर तुम हो रीझते, क्या देते जदुबीर । 
रोना धोना सिसकना, आहों की जागीर ।।
 
Meaning: O my Lord, you only make the one you love sigh and cry with the pain of separation. 

During separation, a certain sweet ache and a sweet remembrance conjures up a strange world. In this the pure form of love is born and in this pining the lover gets a strange and inexplicable bliss. There is a sort of contentment in her anguished heart as the lover knows that the one person she fails to forget is her very own, however far he is. In short, only in separation can love attain a pure form and in this only it is safe. 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment